Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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