Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
