i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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