Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
