Christians are straight up FREAKS
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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