Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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