Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize