Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
