The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
