i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
