I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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