everyone is single if you try hard enough
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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