the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize