you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
