the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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