White coat. Heels.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
