Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize