why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
