every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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