Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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