Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
