I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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