bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
