Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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