No, you can still breathe under the balls.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
