If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my being single is dangerous.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
