There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
