I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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