"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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