i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
