Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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