Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
