I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
