well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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