tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
