can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
