but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
