dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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