Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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