Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
