Please, let me fuck your mom
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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