It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
