normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize