quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
