We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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