hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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