they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
