Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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