Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
