My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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