Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
