if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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