I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I fill condoms, not promises.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
