her vagine was all disorganized.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
