I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
