I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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