Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
