I need to stop coming to work sober
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize