Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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