Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
