We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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