I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
