dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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